25 Comments
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Mack Collier's avatar

Interesting thoughts, Maryam. I think most of us default to treating others the way we want to be treated. Like if I want to be left alone during a crisis, I may assume my friend does as well, and not check in. While they would check in on me, so they would expect me to do the same for them. If I don't, then they may take it personally, when I may think I am treating them how they would want to be treated since it's how I would want. Or maybe I am just crazy, that part is possible :)

Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

You are absolutely right. We treat others the way we think they want to be treated based on our own lens and perspective. Being aware and asking them to define how they want to be treated is the first step in understanding each other and eliminating unnecessary tension.

Michael Bridges's avatar

I'm happy to say my wife and I are using the same dictionary most of the time. It really helps.

Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

That's amazing! You're ahead of most.

Michael Bridges's avatar

We’ve been around longer than most. 👨‍🦳👩‍🦳 haha

Maryam Jegarvand's avatar

Insightful, Maryam Jan. You're absolutely right about private definitions. I could relate to your examples, especially the word ‘respect.’ It carries countless meanings across cultures, languages, and even generations.

Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

Thank you for reading and sharing your experience Maryam! Respect is definitely one of those words that triggers a lot of emotional and cultural history.

Maryam Jegarvand's avatar

Totally, it means so much in different contexts.

Marisa Langford's avatar

I feel like I've just attended a master class on communication. What a brilliant article with such perspective on relationships.

Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

Wow thank you so much Marisa! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Ashlee Anokwuru's avatar

This helped a lot

Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

I’m so glad! 🫶

Ashlee Anokwuru's avatar

Thank you babies

Hanging By a Sunrise's avatar

This resonates so much and explains it so clearly. My bf and I recently talked about the thumbs up emoji in text messages. I know not a word, it resonated with the different perspective in meaning. I take thumbs up as a dig. A brush off. While they use it per its definition. Agreed. Satisfactory. I know we have different attachment styles and defining what love, support, etc. means to one another sounds life changing.

Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

Thank you for reading! You are so right, emojis also carry a lot of emotional meaning, which differs from person to person based on their perspective. Great insight!

The Wandering Narrative's avatar

Loved this! Thanks 🙏

Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

I'm so glad, thank you for reading!

Rhea Daniel's avatar

Good points in relationships succeeding ( by mutual definition)

Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

Exactly! Thank you for reading 🙏

ChristinaLimsw's avatar

I have read once that when a child says, ''play with me'', it actually means, ''I need you, I had a hard time at school''. I guess this is what you mean by GAP in communication. Sometimes, when my little one says that, I would ask her sister to play with her. Which on the hindsight, is not a good solution. What my little one needs is actually, me = my presence and connection. Thanks for the post.

Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

Great insight, thank you for sharing. Little ones are still trying to learn how to communicate their feelings and look for us to help them translate. I have two toddlers and I’m constantly trying to decode the meaning behind their words.

Lucia Motsumi's avatar

I learned so much from reading this. I want more and more and more. Really brings perspective into a lot of things in my life

Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

Thank you so much for reading! So glad it resonated with you ❤️

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Dec 2
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Maryam Mehrtash's avatar

“Support” is definitely one of those words with multiple definitions depending on the person.