9 Tiny Habits That Build Trust (and Protect Your Time)

Plus: The Words That Make You Sound Weak, Even If You’re Not

This almost didn’t get written.

Not because I didn’t have time (though my inbox is auditioning for its own reality show). Not because I didn’t have ideas (the problem is I have too many, just ask my husband, who endures my 10pm TED Talks).

It almost didn’t get written because I didn’t follow my own advice. I didn’t block the time. I let the week run me instead of running it. So here I am, the night before, reminding myself of the same nine habits I’m about to share with you.

We talk about boundaries like they’re a “nice to have.” Something you’ll get to once the fires are out, the deck is updated, and you’ve survived another week of meetings-that-should-have-been-emails. But here’s the truth: boundaries aren’t optional. They’re trust signals. They say: I know my priorities. I respect my capacity. And I’m not afraid to protect the work that matters.

I didn’t always know this. Early in my career, I said yes to everything. I was the one answering emails at midnight, staying late to “prove myself,” convincing myself that if I was always available, people would respect me more. (Spoiler: they didn’t. They just gave me more work.)

The real work comes later, when you start to unlearn those habits. Reversing them takes self-awareness and conscious effort. It’s harder than saying yes, because it means sitting with the discomfort of boundaries, of letting an email wait until morning, of choosing respect over approval. But that’s where the shift happens.

Now, as a mother of two little kids, and as I’ve gotten older and, I hope, wiser, I protect my time, my energy, and even my inbox sanity with a kind of ferocity I never had in my twenties. Because what boundaries really do is create space, for better ideas, for deeper work, and for a life that actually feels like yours.

The 9 Tiny Shifts

1️⃣ Stop saying “I’m available anytime”

Offer 2–3 windows that work for you. Respect your time and theirs. I used to think “anytime works!” sounded flexible. What it really sounded like was: my time is bottomless, please schedule me into oblivion. Now, I give 2–3 options. People actually respect it more, and scheduling takes half the time.

(Pro tip: defined windows cut scheduling chaos by up to 40% [Doodle, 2023]).

2️⃣ Turn off email notifications

Panic is not a productivity strategy. At Paramount, my inbox had me trained like Pavlov’s dog. Every ping = stress. Once I turned off notifications, my anxiety dropped and my output soared. My team learned to trust my rhythm, not my knee-jerk replies.

(Fun fact: it takes 23 minutes to recover from an interruption [UC Irvine, 2016]. That’s basically an episode of “Friends.”)

3️⃣ Block and protect focus time

If it’s not on your calendar, it doesn’t exist. I do this everyday now. My calendar used to reflect everyone else’s priorities. Now, I block my own. And I name the block (“Write Substack draft,” not “block time”) so there’s no confusion.

(Did you know? Deep work boosts productivity up to 500% for complex tasks [UC Riverside, 2021]).

4️⃣ Don’t say “no problem” when it’s a problem

Try: “I don’t have the bandwidth right now. Here’s what I can do.” I’m a recovering “sure, no worries” person. The truth? Half the time I was drowning. This tiny clear shift apologetic every time. As a Type A overachiever, it felt easier to just absorb it all. But that’s not leadership, that’s self-sabotage.

(Facts: Boundaries reduce burnout risk by 25% [Journal of Applied Psychology, 2022]).

5️⃣ Leave work on time

Your worth isn’t your inbox. Organize for high-priority follow-ups, then go home. For years, I thought staying late = dedication. It just meant poor boundaries and more burnout. When I started leaving on time, my team didn’t see me as less committed, they respected it, and they started doing it too.

6️⃣ Stop answering messages after hours (unless urgent)

Spoiler: almost nothing is urgent. Unless you’re holding someone’s beating heart in your hands (hi surgeons), most things can wait until morning. Midnight replies don’t make you look committed, they set a terrible precedent.

(The Stat: After-hours replies spike burnout by 20% [OBHDP, 2022]).

7️⃣ Ask what actually needs your attention

Before jumping in, clarify the priority. I’ve wasted weeks chasing low-value tasks because I never asked: “What’s the priority here?” Now it’s my go-to question. It saves time, energy, and sanity.

8️⃣ Build 10-minute buffers between meetings

Space to think = better decisions. My old calendar was a Jenga tower from 8–5. No wonder I was fried. Now I add breathing room between meetings. It’s shocking how much better my brain works when it’s not sprinting all day.

(Facts: Mini-breaks cut stress by 15% [Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 2021]).

9️⃣ Don’t over-explain

Short, clear, confident. This one was the hardest for me. Early in my career, I over-explained everything out of fear of not being taken seriously. Now I say less and people listen more. It’s a muscle I am still learning how to flex, and need to be conscious of it. People lean in when you stop drowning them in words.

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💡Here’s the courage move: boundaries aren’t about being rigid, they’re about being real. Protect your time. Respect your energy. And model for others what it looks like to lead without burning out.

For Paid Subscribers: “The Courage Rewrite”

One of the fastest ways we leak authority at work isn’t in the big moments, it’s in the little words.

The “just checking in.”
The “sorry if this is harsh.”
The “hope this makes sense.”

Death by a thousand qualifiers.

I used to do this constantly. Every email softened, every comment padded, because God forbid I sounded “difficult.” What I didn’t realize is that all those softeners weren’t making me more likable. They were making me sound less credible.

And let’s be real, I still catch myself doing it. Old habits die hard. But here’s what I know now: the way you phrase things shapes how people perceive your authority. Confidence isn’t just what you do, it’s what you say.

So for my paid subscribers, here’s my Courage Rewrite: the swaps I’ve trained myself to make so I come across clear, confident, and trustworthy.